- "You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering."— Ernest Hemingway (via aurelle)
- "I’m used to it"— The saddest thing you can hear someone say. (via bl-ossomed)
Its been around a month now since I tried to talk to him. Its really helped with me trying to get over him. I saw his twitter account today and I couldn’t even look at it-he is so obsessed with his girlfriend its nuts. Of course, as always theres someone better than me. I guess they are better meant for each other than we would of have. My super busy schedule, with school work, and trying to just figure myself/my life out is enough stress. It hurts that things are so different now-I hope I don’t cry at the end of this post.
I guess, as said, he found someone way better, skinnier, and richer than me. I need to prove that I’m better, but of course with my ugly self I never will. Maybe if I lose even more weight, drift away from him and everyone practically, and move away, I will prove myself. To me, I feel that proving myself to the world from all the hurt is to drift away from all socialization involving him in any sort, and to make myself look hot, super skinny, and become successful. Its hard at times still to not think of him, and sometimes I daydream about him and forget that he has a girlfriend until I come back to reality. I’m afraid for the day he asks me why I haven’t spoken to him in a long time, because it will bring too many emotions and pain. No one seems to understand how much it really impacts you as a whole person when someone you truly love(d) finds someone else better and forgets you more and more, day by day. That they physically and emotionally love each other while you try to cope, by drinking your self away or hoping that being skinnier and drifting away is considered “revenge” and to show how i’ve been hurt. No attention needed here.
Crap. I cried. Of course. Sigh. I should drift away in the wind.